float••

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i slip under the sheets
i’m wearing her clothes
she’s wearing my heart
we share a breath, a sigh
and we float••
i drift away inside my brain,
or was it outside?

the substance is still sinking in
spilling signs of sadness and silence and stories
that are better left untold
i float•• away from the real
i’m scared;
it’s dark inside my head,
or was it outside?

what i once craved and enjoyed and joked about
is now pure darkness;
daughters coming out of closets
decapitated
figures mutated
pupils wide open
unable to close
staring at me as if i am the monster but i’m not
i’m not and i touch her eyes
just to make sure they are closed
just to make sure her pupils are safe
just to..
her eyelids tremble
“i’m here”
i stare at the ceiling and all i can see is a shape-shifting lamp
with sharp teeth
coming at me
crawling down the walls and coming at me
cracking open its jaws and coming at me
to swallow me whole
but i turned around
and i stuck my head in the pillow
and i drowned in the scent that i had terribly missed but never forgotten
i touched her fingertips, barely
i was safe now
the monsters went back under my head
– bed.
and i tried to find a way back into my mind
or was it outside?

i slipped under the sheets
i was wearing her clothes
and she, my heart.

/2013,

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